One Less Heart To Break
by MKAmericanhero
Summary: ONE SHOT: After Sophia's suicide attempt Lena told the kids if they ever felt like that to talk to her or Stef or to each other. What if one of the kids ending up needing them in that way a few months after everything with the Quinn's settled down. Rated T for mentions of suicide so if that triggers you, please avoid this or read with caution.


**Something stuck with me after Monday's episode when Lena said that if any of the kids were felling "like that" meaning suicidal that they should come to them and say something. But I wanted to make a one shot into what that could possible look like. For the sake of my sanity please just pretend that Robert didn't get custody of Callie and she is with the Fosters. **

Stef often made trips to the kids' school, mostly to have lunch with Lena or to pick up the kids from one event or another. Today she was there to pick up Callie because Lena had a meeting right after school and Callie had a group therapy appointment after school let out so she needed a ride separate from the other kids. After saying hi to Lena as she left for her meeting she made her way to the music room where Lena suggested Callie probably was. Stef walked past a few kids doing homework in the hallway and a few more running past her to get to practice and when she rounded the corner she could hear music being played over the speakers in the room with the addition of an acoustic guitar. She paused in the doorway of the music room and looked in to see Callie with her back to the door as she was looking at sheet music and not focusing on anything else. Stef checked the time and figured they had time to let Callie practice one more song before they needed to leave. Stef quietly took a seat and listened as Callie played along with the recorded music and sang.

**Small town, just north of the city, **

**There's a girl all alone by the window in need and she,**

**She's thinking that this worlds too much to take**

**And they could use one less heart to break**

**She stares down at the world below**

**Fools herself to thinking she should just let go, I know**

**I wish she knew she wasn't so alone**

**She left us a letter to outline the facts**

**How she felt so alone like the world turned their backs**

**Her parents don't notice she's slipping away**

**She'd still be around if she just heard them say**

**It's the ups and downs of living life this way**

**Promise me you'll never go away**

**Just stay with me through one more night**

**Because it's always darkest before the light**

**And now I promise you I'll never turn away**

**I won't let you give us one less heart to break**

Stef was used to Brandon's music, which very rarely had lyrics, but Callie's was different. There were usually words and Callie's music typically had deep meaning to it and this song was no different. Except, Stef thought, this song was different and the meaning of this song was dark.

**Flash back to early that year**

**Between his home life and school he wished he'd just disappear, I know**

**He's thinking that this worlds too much to take**

**And they could use one less heart to break**

**Whole world comin' down on his back**

**He takes a bottle of pills and then he's finished with that, I know**

**I wish he wasn't so alone**

**He left us a letter to outline the facts**

**How he felt so alone like the world turned their backs**

**His parents don't notice he's slipping away**

**He'd still be around if he just heard them say**

**It's the ups and downs of living life this way**

**Promise me you'll never go away**

**Just stay with me through one more night**

**Because it's always darkest before the light**

**And now I promise you I'll never turn away**

**I won't let you give us one less heart to break**

The recording played out and Callie played a few notes to finish the song before the room went silent.

"Getting pretty good at playing that guitar sweets." Callie jumped slightly when she turned to see her mother standing in the room when she was so sure she had been alone.

"Thanks. Sorry, I didn't mean to make us late. I'm ready to go if you are." Stef shook her head and pulled up a chair and took a seat.

"We aren't late, but before we leave let's you and me have a chat." Callie put the guitar case down and cautiously took a seat across from Stef.

"Anything you want to tell me?" Callie was unsure how much of the song Stef had heard and she didn't really want to have this conversation here. Callie shook her head no and Stef sighed.

"How about we head home and we can talk there?"

"I have to go to group." Stef nodded. "Well, we will swing by there and I am gonna talk to your doctor and say we have an emergency we need to attend to."

"It's not an emergency." Stef stood up with Callie and wrapped her arm around the teen's shoulder.

"If you are feeling like the girl in that song then it is absolutely an emergency and your life is more precious to me than some court appointed group." Callie said nothing else when they walked to the car and was silent as they drove to the community center. Stef walked into the building with Callie behind her a few steps behind her and when they came to the room Stef got the attention of the doctor who met them at the door. Stef and the doctor spoke in hushed whispers and the doctor wrote down something and handed it to Stef who thanked her and then turned back to Callie.

"What did she say?"

"She said that you seeing someone about this was the priority and that she would count you as present because you and I showed up to tell her. No getting in trouble over it so relax about that ok?" Callie nodded.

"She also gave me the number of another doctor she has worked with before and as soon as we get home I will be calling her while I change into something more comfortable." Callie nodded and curled into her seat and looked out the window as they drove. They got home and Callie wanted to go hide in her room, but Stef didn't give her the chance.

"Ok love, hang out on our bed while I change and call the doctor ok?" Callie knew better than to push her luck so she got on the queen size bed and snuggled into Stef's side of the bed. She heard Stef speak to the doctor's receptionist and when she hung up the phone Stef dug in her closet for her civilian clothes.

"Ok my love, we have an appointment in half an hour so if you want to change do it now."

"I'm fine in what I have on." Stef smiled and finished changing.

"Alright then, let's head out shall we?"

"What about momma?"

"Would you like to talk to her before you see that doctor." Callie nodded her head and Stef smiled, because even though this was upsetting for everyone Stef was glad Callie was reaching out to them on some level. Callie buckled up and Stef started the car, but stepped out for a second to call Lena, which took forever because the receptionist kept insisting that she could not interrupt the meeting. Finally, Stef shut the car door and yelled at the woman that it was an emergency with one of the kids and suddenly the woman changed her tune and said she would go get Lena. Two minutes later the line picked up again and this time it was Lena.

"What's wrong, which one of them is hurt?"

"Love, take a breath. No one is hurt, but it's Callie." It was always Callie Stef thought and she was getting kind of tired of her eldest daughter being handed the tough breaks in life.

"Is she ok? Did something happen with Robert? Is she sick?"

"Lena, please take a breath. She wants to talk to you and if you are freaking out she will too. She isn't sick and Robert has nothing to do with this that I know of. I found her in the music room and the song she was working on was…dark."

"What do you mean dark?" Stef tried to phrase this carefully.

"Dark enough to worry me." Lena was quiet for a second.

"Stef. Are you trying to tell me our daughter is suicidal?"

"Yes." Lena was quiet again for a few seconds.

"I'm coming home."

"Lena, we aren't at home. I got her a doctor appointment to have her evaluated. If you want, meet us there, but she would like to talk to you so can I put her on the phone?"

"Of course you can." Stef got in the car and handed Callie the cell phone while Stef started to buckle up and leave the drive way.

"Hi momma."

"Hi baby. Mom told me a little about what's going on. You doing ok?"

"I'm sorry." Stef grabbed her daughter's hand and tried to communicate that this wasn't something to be sorry about.

"Oh baby, you don't have to be sorry. We'll figure this out and get you some help ok? I'm gonna meet you guys at your appointment ok."

"You don't have to come, you're busy."

"Callie, you are my child and you are a thousand times more important to me than a board meeting."

"Ok. I love you."

"I love you too baby. I'll see you in a little bit." Lena hung up and Callie held Stef's phone for her while they drove.

"What am I supposed to say to them?"

"Them who? The doctor? You just tell them what you have been feeling and be honest with them. She may ask you some questions about what has been going on in your life recently."

"What if she thinks I'm nuts?" With her eyes on the road, Stef reached over and took Callie's hand again.

"You aren't nuts and she would never call you that. Needing help isn't bad and it doesn't make you nuts."

"But me going to the doctor is making you and momma upset." Stef sighed and pulled over the car to the side of the road and put it in park.

"Callie. Listen to me. You getting help is not what has me and momma worried. When your child is showing signs that they may be suicidal it's scary, but only because we want so badly to help you and take whatever pain you are feeling away. You don't have to be sorry." Callie pulled her legs up to her chest, not an easy task with the seatbelt in the way.

"What if she puts me in the hospital?" The thought had crossed Stef's mind and it was a very real possibility.

"Then we deal with that if we need to and I know that's not what you want to hear, but promise me you'll be honest about your feelings. Don't try and down play your emotions to avoid the hospital."

"Ok." Stef leaned over and kissed Callie's cheek.

"That's my girl." They drove the rest of the way silent and by the time they entered the waiting room the receptionist told them the doctor was ready for them so Stef just needed to hand over their medical insurance card and they could go back. Stef handed over the card and she and Callie walked down the hall and knock on the door that was already open.

"Come on in ladies." A woman that Callie guessed was in her 30's stood up from her chair and ushered them in before shutting the door. She shook Stef's hand and then Callie's.

"I'm Dr. Lewis, but you can call me Melanie if you'd like."

Stef smiled, "I'm Stefanie Foster and this is my daughter Callie. I apologize for the short notice, but this came out pretty suddenly." The doctor gestured to the chairs and couches in her office.

"Please don't apologize. In my line of work, things rarely happen when they are supposed to or during times when it's convenient. I would like to hear it from Callie, if you don't mind. Parents and kids see the same thing in two different ways and I'd like to get Callie's POV first."

Callie looked at Stef as if to ask if it was ok to be honest with this new person. Stef nodded and smiled, "it's ok baby."

"Callie, your mom can wait outside if you'd feel better."

"No." The response was immediate and Callie moved closer to Stef and wrapped herself around her mother's arm. The doctor held up her hands in defense.

"It's ok Callie, I just wanted to give you the choice. Your mom can stay right where she is, but can you talk to me about what's been going on?"

"My mom heard me playing a song that was sad."

"Lots of songs are sad Callie, what made this one sad?"

"It talked about dying." Dr. Lewis wrote down a note and looked back up.

"Why do you think this song worried your mom enough to bring you here today?" Callie looked away, but answered.

"Because it talked about people wanting to die."

"So it had a theme of suicide in it then?" Callie nodded her head.

"Your mom told me that you and your brother love music, which makes me think that you already know that sometimes we pick songs that match our mood. Did you pick to work on this song because it matched what you are feeling right now?" Callie said nothing, but both Stef and the doctor knew that her silence said more than her words ever could.

"Ok. Callie, one of the things I do when I think someone is thinking of hurting themselves or trying to kill themselves is an evaluation. I ask a bunch of questions on this paper here and you just answer me as honestly as you can ok? Don't hold back because you think I'll get upset or your mom will be sad. Emotions are ok, so if you cry or your mom cries it's not a bad thing. Sounds ok?"

"It sounds like I don't have a choice." Callie retorted and Stef tapped her knee to gently remind her to watch it.

"Right now, you don't have a choice. I want to make sure you're safe Callie." Callie mumbled a fine and the doctor started her questions. Some of them very tame and as she neared the end of the list of questions they of course became more intense and harder to answer.

"Have you had thoughts of suicide within the last 48 hours?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a plan to carry out these thoughts?" Callie nodded yes and then tried to pull away from Stef and look at anything else in the room. Stef however wouldn't let the teen go anywhere and pressed a kiss to Callie forehead.

"Hey Callie, you are doing so good, but I have to ask you this question because it decides where we go from here. The plan you have in your head, do you have a date picked out?"

"No." The doctor wrote down a few words and then turned the page over before looking up at Callie.

"Can you tell me why?"

"Isn't it good I don't have it planned out or anything?" Callie looked lost and the doctor nodded and smiled.

"It is, but if I know the reasoning behind it then I can say for sure if you are ok to go home with you mom or if we need to explore another option."

"Like locking me up?"

"No, Callie, psychiatric hospitals are not prisons and the ones for adolescents are very advanced these days. But that is the other option right now so I need you to talk to me."

"I don't want to pick a date, I don't really want to do it. I don't want to hurt them anymore."

"Them who?"

"My parents. Look I know how this all sounds and how it looks to people, but…I'm not…I would never do anything else to hurt them and unless death comes for me I'm not leaving my brother. Not again." Stef finally let the breath she was holding go because Callie was sounding like herself.

The doctor seemed to notice the shift too and it seemed to put everyone in the room at ease for a moment.

"You love your brother very much, that much is clear."

"With all my heart."

"Before you guys got adopted I bet you took care of him."

"Well no one else was going to. I either took care of both of us or we died. My decision was simple after that."

"Sounds like you sacrificed a lot just to keep the two of you going."

"I'd do it again if I had to." The doctor smiled at Callie and put her notes aside.

"I don't doubt it. But you know what Callie? Sometimes we spend our whole lives sacrificing ourselves for someone else and we forget that we matter. You can only give of yourself so much before there is nothing left to give, which I think is where we are right now. You and your brother are safe and happy in your new home yes?"

"Of course."

"You trust your moms?"

"Absolutely."

"Then I'm going to ask you to do something hard and let them take care of you. Let someone be strong for you Callie. Let them help you. You don't have to be strong all the time anymore." The silence after the doctor spoke was broken when the phone rang and after the doctor picked it up she quickly put it down and stood up.

"Your wife is here and would like to come back." Stef was glad Lena made it in time to be part of this.

"Is that ok with you Callie?" Callie nodded and the doctor disappeared for a few moments and returned with Lena. After giving Stef a quick kiss, Lena sat on the other side of Callie and kissed the side of her head.

"You ok baby?" Callie nodded and Lena looked to the doctor for confirmation.

"We just wrapped up the evaluation and I was just about to talk to your wife and to Callie about what our next step should be. Now Callie, I'm gonna ask you a big favor and I need you to tell me what that plan of your is."

"Why?"

"Because, even though I am worried about you, I don't think putting you in a psych ward would actually help you right now. That being said, you still made it very clear that you were having those kinds of thoughts and I can't let you leave until I'm sure you and your moms have an understanding about how to keep you safe."

"So, what, I tell how I want to do it. You tell them what it is and they lock up the knifes in the house and we all have to use spoons for a month." Lena realized she missed a big part of this conversation, but she didn't say anything.

"Well, if that's what will make you feel safe then yes. If you don't want to say it out load, maybe you could right it down for me." Callie nodded and took the pen and paper from the doctor and quickly wrote something down and handed it back to her. The doctor read it and looked back up at Callie.

"Callie, could I talk to your moms for a few minutes alone? You can wait in the waiting room." The teen was just happy to get out of the room so she agreed, knowing that the receptionist wouldn't let anyone leave who wasn't supposed to so she sat down in a chair and mindlessly flipped through a magazine and waited. In the room she just left the doctor looked at the paper again and looked at Lena and Stef.

"To avoid beating around the bush, do these numbers mean anything to either of you?" Lena took the paper and shook her head no, but when Stef took it her face went pale.

"How the hell does she know this?" Stef said it to herself more than to anyone else and the doctor pushed.

"What are those numbers for?"

Stef rubbed her face and pinched the bridge of her nose before answering. "It's the code to the safe where I keep my service weapon."

"So she has access to a firearm?" Stef took out her phone and started punching in numbers while shaking her head.

"She won't in a few hours. I'm having my ex-husband come get the safe and I'll keep the gun and the ammo at the station."

"Good. That removes one of the more lethal means. In general though, with everything else, just keep a sharp eye on her. It's spring, so if she is wearing long sleeves all the time she could be hiding cuts and just to get ahead of it I would keep any major medications where she can't get them. Things like Advil I'm not too worried about, but pain pills and sleeping pills. If you want to show her that you trust her then leave them where they are but count how many pills you have. She may never touch the bottle, but I like giving parents a good heads up on how this can go. She doesn't have to keep seeing me if she doesn't want to, but she needs to see someone at least twice a week for a little while and then she'll be evaluated again."

Both mothers nodded and took the paperwork from the doctor before all three of them went to meet Callie in the waiting room. Stef was relieved, if not a little surprised to find that Callie hadn't tried to ditch them and run away from this meeting.

"It was nice to meet all of you, even given the circumstances. Hopefully I'll see you again soon Callie." The doctor returned to her office and the Fosters left and began to head home. No one in the house knew that anything was out of the ordinary other than that Mike was upstairs taking the safe out. He told the kids that Lena finally convinced Stef to keep the gun at the station and they all bought it. Callie watched Mike carry the safe away and Stef came down the stairs a few minutes later with a locked weapons box. She let Mike take the box from her and he loaded up his car and left. Stef turned around to see Callie standing in the doorway of the front porch.

"Hey sweets, ready for dinner?" Stef stood next to Callie and wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry. About today and what you had to hear." Stef sighed and guided Callie over to the bench the sat just to the right of the doorway.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Callie, momma and I just want you and your siblings to be safe and happy and if you aren't then we want to know about it so we can fix it."

"You can't fix mental illness."

"You're right we can't, but we can fix you not feeling safe by getting rid of my gun. We can get you help with someone who understands this better than we do. It's ok to let us help you Callie. I know you want to show us that you are this strong woman, but honey everyone needs help sometimes. And sometimes the bravest thing you can ever do is ask for help when you need it. Momma and I still think you're strong; today doesn't change that. Ok?"

"Yeah."

"Honey I can't tell you that every second in life is beautiful and perfect, but I can tell you that if you don't stick around, nothing gets better. And this time, you, momma, your siblings and me will be there to help you. No more lone ranger for you my love." Callie smiled and nodded and Stef took that as an indication that for tonight things would be ok and everything else would need to wait for tomorrow. But for now, her children were safe and given what had happened that afternoon, it was the best gift Stef could've asked for.

**Ok, so just something that popped in my head that I wanted to get out. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. If you are feeling suicidal or like you want to hurt yourself, please reach out and ask for help. It's not easy, I've done it myself, but please please do it because your life is precious and you are not disposable.**

**The song is called One Less Heart To Break by Patent Pending**


End file.
